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Bright Lanterns

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“I am out with lanterns, looking for myself.”

-Emily Dickinson

You Have My Heart

Over the past month or two, I’ve been trying to figure out the feelings I have towards you. I would never have to courage to say everything out loud, so I guess it’s more for my benefit of knowing how I feel and being able to put it into words. First and foremost, I’d never…

January 20, 2024
Friend Frustration

I met one of my good friends back in March of last year. We met on a dating app and while we did hit it off, we didn’t officially date. It was purely my decision and he wasn’t a fan of just staying friends. He thinks that I chose not to date him just because…

January 15, 2024
I’m a Mess

I have the song “I’m a Mess” by Avril Lavigne stuck in my head. I know that the meaning behind the song doesn’t exactly suit my situation, but it was the only phrase that immediately came to mind a few days ago. During this past week, I was at work and a guy gave me…

January 5, 2024
Ace of Spades

Over the past few months, I’ve grown more comfortable with the realization of being ace. I finally have a term for how I feel (or I guess what I don’t feel) and while I’m not really into labels, I don’t necessarily mind this one. After many years of being in limbo with life and mental…

December 12, 2023
Thinking of Him

I have a friend who’s really confident and experienced when it comes to dating. I know she has her struggles, but there’s a part of me that envies her. She knows how to get the attention of men, and I cannot. I can try all I want, but it’s just not working. Anyway, we were…

November 26, 2023
Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is a time when everyone takes a pause from life and reflects on what they are thankful for. I have so many reasons to be thankful and I thought I would write them down rather than having the thoughts sit in my head. So here are a few things I’m thankful for: First and…

November 23, 2023
Houses Flying Through the Sky

A few months ago, I gave up on dating. It’s very complicated and I was tired of getting hurt by everyone I talked to. Once I stopped trying, I started to feel better. Like, there wasn’t all this pressure to conform to whatever kind of relationship someone else wanted. It felt freeing. While I don’t…

November 15, 2023
I Will Miss You

I will miss you, David. It hit me this morning as I waited for your bus and you weren’t in your normal seat. I knew you were already elsewhere, but I guess I forgot for a moment. I know we only knew each other for two years, but I got used to seeing your face…

November 3, 2023
Empathic Pain

Why do pEople hurt other people? I mean, sometimes we unintentionally hurt others, but why do some people choose to hurt someone else on purpose? I don’t understand. What do they gain out of it? They just go through life doing what they want without a care in the world at the expense of someone…

September 18, 2023
BPD

After years of wondering what was wrong with me, someone finally told me. Borderline Personality Disorder. Doctors and therapists mentioned it over the years, but it was only just recently that a mental health professional actually diagnosed it. She told me the symptoms and I had almost all of them. I thought I would find…

August 27, 2023

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